Here is the letter that I recently sent to my Senator, Orrin Hatch (R-Utah):
Mr. Hatch,
Obviously, you would have heard by now about the apparent link between cola soft drinks and the long term effects of anosmia. I can only assume that you are quietly drafting some sort of legislation or gathering support for a congressional hearing on the matter. Otherwise, your lack of action is shocking! If you find yourself in need of witnesses against the cola companies, I am happy to do smell tests or to testify, etc.
Thank you,
Benjamin Larson
Constituent and Anosmia Sufferer
It has been 24 hours with no response!!!!! I am now convinced that Senator Hatch is in with the cola companies. There is a large scale conspiracy that no one is talking about, and I'm going to have to be the one who blows it wide open!
It will likely be very dangerous...who is with me?!
If this is my last post, you know why...
3 comments:
Count me in! Can we have secret passwords and hold secret meetings to discuss the plan? I want my codename to be Pinocchio cause he had a really big nose.
-Pinocchio
Pinocchio,
How do I know that you are not a government agent or insider man from the Dr. Pepper Company of Plano, Texas?
If you can provide some kind of proof, I will share with you an encrypted password at a public online location at a specific time.
People should read this.
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